OK Ms. Grumpy pants!! Nobody wants to hear about your opposition to my Facebook look back video!!

images (1)For my sweet son, Ian.  Thank you for the title Eeener-Neener!

Recently, (okay, not recently, for some time), I have grown increasingly disenchanted with Facebook.  First it was the timeline format unceremoniously forced upon its users; then all the targeted adverts (my own generally pertaining to ‘mature dating’, ‘wrinkle remedies’, and ‘fashion); and now, to mark Facebook’s tenth anniversary, we have ‘a look back’, an unsolicited and indeed, intrusive, tour through our Facebook photos, posts, likes and whatnot, accompanied by an annoyingly shite soundtrack.  Where’s that ‘dislike’ button when I need it most?

And yet, and yet… as I scan through my increasingly bloated news feed, I note so many on my friends list have opted to share (thankfully there is an option) their little ‘Facebook movie’ for all to see and celebrate.

Curiosity got the better of me.  I clicked the link to view mine.  Behold!  A captivating mosaic of non-contextual posts and photos, thoughtfully chosen by whatever computer generated programme Facebook used to piece this masterpiece together.  In one minute and two seconds, seven years of my life was tidily compressed into banal highlights, excluding, of course, anything remotely ‘real’ that happened.  My seven years on Facebook, as represented by Facebook, pretty much sucked.  And so has the (insert number of years) of my friends and family – if the highlights are to be trusted.

So, what is the common denominator here?  Facebook makes our lives suck, or at least makes them seem to suck, by sucking away at our time, compressing our communication with others to soundbites and tagged photos and cluttering our news feeds with so much shit that we don’t care to know, that we tune out and miss out on important moments that are ‘real’ and that did happen to ourselves and to our friends; the bits about our lives, post Facebook, that may have sucked, but didn’t suck in that hackneyed way our Facebook amalgamated lives suck.

That’s my Grumpy pants rant over.

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