I have absolutely no plan or structure in mind for today’s blog. Things feel a bit chaotic lately and I’m having one of those days where I just want to see it pass by quickly, go to bed and start over in the morning.
The two-day induction for the new job begins tomorrow morning, and because I do anxious so well, I am anxious about how I will prepare in the morning, whether I might struggle to find the place, my sat-nav failing me, my car failing me, or just showing up with a bad case of stupid that steadily increases throughout the day. I’ve literally (and I do not mean virtually, I mean ‘literally’) sought work at least three days a week for the past eight months, so this is a ‘biggie’ for me. Hence my level of anxiety.
Then, of course, there are the dogs and how they’ll cope with having me away from them for long hours at a stretch when they usually have so much time with me. I spent the last couple of days arranging the house and the garden for them and finding someone to come in a couple times a day to check on them, give them their dinner and bring them into the house a few hours before I get home. I know we’ll cope, but it’s a big change for us. Hopefully, everyone will adjust to our new routine without too much trouble.
Meanwhile, I made a decision regarding Leslie’s ashes. I decided to scatter her at Hook Lighthouse.
It’s a place I’d planned to take her when she was meant to visit last March. It feels symbolically right to me as an image of safe passage, presence and hope. I think Leslie would approve. Sadly, she doesn’t really have a vote on this one.
So that’s that. Not much else to say. I start a new job; I have a sister in a box inside a drawer, but she’ll be moving somewhere better soon; and I spend an inordinate amount of time fretting over road trips, dogs, changes and more changes. All and all, that comes under the category of ‘mostly normal’ for me.
Hopefully, I’ll find more compelling matters to write about in the coming weeks. 🙂